POST-SEPARATION VIOLENCE
Leaving an abusive partner may seem like the most obvious and easiest way to end a relationship. However, leaving is usually difficult for women and may not lead to increased safety. For many women, leaving an abusive partner is the riskiest phase of their lives. The risk of violence against the woman often increases when an abusive partner realizes that his partner wants to leave him, has left, and/or will not return to the relationship. However, post-separation violence, i.e. violence after the end of a relationship, does not only affect women but also has long-term negative effects on children and disrupts their sense of stability and safety. —————————————————————————— Perpetrators very often continue the violence even after the end of a relationship.
Leaving an abusive partner may seem like the most obvious and easiest way to end a relationship. However, leaving is usually difficult for women and may not lead to increased safety. For many women, leaving an abusive partner is the riskiest phase of their lives. The risk of violence against the woman often increases when an abusive partner realizes that his partner wants to leave him, has left, and/or will not return to the relationship. However, post-separation violence, i.e. violence after the end of a relationship, does not only affect women but also has long-term negative effects on children and disrupts their sense of stability and safety. —————————————————————————— Perpetrators very often continue the violence even after the end of a relationship.
Perpetrators very often continue the violence even after the end of a relationship. In many cases, the violence and abuse do not stop after separation, it just takes on an alternative form, and therefore, leaving an abusive partner can escalate the violence to a level that did not occur during the relationship. Most often this happens through stalking, threatening, assaulting, and attempting to murder or murder their former partners. Post-separation violence and announced or carried out murders of former partners or wives are a manifestation of the man’s feeling of entitlement to the ownership of the woman and children, who, through this behavior and coercion, asserts the need to “win” over the woman and/or a manifestation of the desire to take revenge for the woman’s departure from a violent relationship.
In most cases, post-separation violence does not happen through physical violence. Some violent men have built up a certain social status, they care about public opinion and their public image, etc.
In situations where the man has a certain social status, manifestations of physical violence and evidence of it could damage his reputation and image as perceived by others, he could get accused, arrested, lose his job, etc. Many violent and abusive men are also manipulators, controlling every aspect of how they are perceived by those around them. For this reason, both during and after a violent relationship, they choose other tactics and forms of violence rather than physical violence, which is more difficult to prove.
Perpetrators very often continue the violence even after the end of a relationship. In many cases, the violence and abuse do not stop after separation, it just takes on an alternative form, and therefore, leaving an abusive partner can escalate the violence to a level that did not occur during the relationship. Most often this happens through stalking, threatening, assaulting, and attempting to murder or murder their former partners. Post-separation violence and announced or carried out murders of former partners or wives are a manifestation of the man’s feeling of entitlement to the ownership of the woman and children, who, through this behavior and coercion, asserts the need to “win” over the woman and/or a manifestation of the desire to take revenge for the woman’s departure from a violent relationship.
In most cases, post-separation violence does not happen through physical violence. Some violent men have built up a certain social status, they care about public opinion and their public image, etc.
In situations where the man has a certain social status, manifestations of physical violence and evidence of it could damage his reputation and image as perceived by others, he could get accused, arrested, lose his job, etc. Many violent and abusive men are also manipulators, controlling every aspect of how they are perceived by those around them. For this reason, both during and after a violent relationship, they choose other tactics and forms of violence rather than physical violence, which is more difficult to prove.
TACTICS AND FORMS OF POST-SEPARATION VIOLENCE
- Using the legal system, and the court system for repeated and long-term lawsuits, the management of which is financially demanding for the woman
- Defamation and discrediting of a former partner/wife
- Reversal of the role of victim and perpetrator - blaming the woman for his own violent behavior
- Taking out loans without the wife’s knowledge before the divorce, while the property and therefore the spouses' debts are joint, leaving the wife to repay this debt
ONE OF THE MOST COMMON TACTICS AND RECOGNITION SIGNS OF VIOLENCE AFTER ENDING A RELATIONSHIP IS POST-RELATIONSHIP CONTROL USED BY A FORMER PARTNER OR HUSBAND TO MAINTAIN POWER AND CONTROL LONG AFTER THE WOMAN HAS ENDED THE RELATIONSHIP.
ONE OF THE MOST COMMON TACTICS AND RECOGNITION SIGNS OF VIOLENCE AFTER ENDING A RELATIONSHIP IS POST-RELATIONSHIP CONTROL USED BY A FORMER PARTNER OR HUSBAND TO MAINTAIN POWER AND CONTROL LONG AFTER THE WOMAN HAS ENDED THE RELATIONSHIP.
If the man used a combination of coercive and controlling tactics during the relationship, he will most likely continue to use them after the woman decides to end the relationship. This type of violent partner built his identity on controlling his partner and children, on a sense of superiority and dominance. Losing that identity, power, and control is unimaginable to him and he will fight very hard to keep it. Among other things, if he can, he will prevent the woman from leaving “his castle” with half of “his” money. This means that he will do everything he can to keep his wife and children from leaving, and at the same time, he will try to destroy any chance of the woman having an independent and good life without him. If a woman threatens his sense of power in any way, he will want to punish her and take revenge on her. He will also systematically work to destroy the external image of the woman and make himself a victim.
If the man used a combination of coercive and controlling tactics during the relationship, he will most likely continue to use them after the woman decides to end the relationship. This type of violent partner built his identity on controlling his partner and children, on a sense of superiority and dominance. Losing that identity, power, and control is unimaginable to him and he will fight very hard to keep it. Among other things, if he can, he will prevent the woman from leaving “his castle” with half of “his” money. This means that he will do everything he can to keep his wife and children from leaving, and at the same time, he will try to destroy any chance of the woman having an independent and good life without him. If a woman threatens his sense of power in any way, he will want to punish her and take revenge on her. He will also systematically work to destroy the external image of the woman and make himself a victim.
